Here's a great sample from The Best Stupid Quotes
YES..AND THEY WALK AMONG US
- I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again ... same scenario ! I departed the store with the $46.64.
- I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one- get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
- One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the Sky and said, "Where ?"
- While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."
- I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
- My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a Seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
- My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
- I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went To the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags Never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a Trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"
- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Here are some more quotes and sayings from coolnsmart
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
- Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
- I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
- STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
- I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
- The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
- Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
- I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.
- The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
- If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing
- You can’t just let nature run wild.
- A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
- The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.
So we say stupid things all the time, I guess if you are unfortunate enough to have them captured against your name then you will probably be a politician, OK that's what we can look at next
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