Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Update on Woman being sued for tweet

According to MSN, who report that the woman who is being sued for $50,000 by her letting agent for tweeting something they didn't like, is now counter suing them for an unrelated matter.

As mentioned in my first post on this the publicity being generated around the world for this issue is surely defeating the original aims of the letting company not to have their reputation besmirched. And look at what is now happening, they are subject to a world of opinion from people who otherwise would have not had a clue that they existed.

We were talking about this yesterday and the thought occurred that there is no such thing as bad advertising; maybe what we have here is a classic example. If this keeps going on there won't be many people in the connected world who haven't heard of Horizon, maybe its job done!

Sunday, 2 August 2009

A Man and a Tazar - The Very Pinnacle of Stupidity

Here is something I just got from my good buddy George from the Pan Clan. I am still hurting from laughter at this one. Its doing the rounds on email, but regardless as it ticks all the boxes for this blog its going in. Those blokes who are of a nervouse dispasition, please don't read any further, girls - you wont be surprised at all.

This guy needs to audition for Jackass. I have no idea of the source, or if its been made up, but god bless you whoever you are!!

A Man and a Tazar


Written by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer Stun Gun for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie . What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.


Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries. Right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.........

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .


I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?


A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S.>>... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

Oh Be Careful What You Tweet

Now this is scary, mostly because it means that Lawyers are getting their heads around twitter and that has got to be a bad thing, right. This woman had a few followers on her twitter account and rather simply insinuated that the managing agent of her property let thought that it was OK to let her sleep in damp and mold. Rather than reply back and set the record straight, they get in touch with their lawyer (probably by twitter) and get him to dust off the "Sue You" file, cut and paste a few relevant word documents and wham - slap her with a $50k law suit. Now granted, in the US a $50k law suit is probably small beer, but hang on its still $50k.

The story was broken by the Chicago Sun Times, have a look there are some great quotes from

the company about sue first and ask questions later, is that the modern day equivalent of the old holywood westerns where it was shoot first.........ask questions later.

Anyway, what I really want to understand is this. If the original tweet was sent and she had 20 followers, then in reality how many people saw the message and of those who did, how many actually took any notice? OK, armed with that number in your head, how many people do you think now know about this around the world, as a result of the law suit? Certainly a significantly larger number than before.

Maybe its me who is being stupid here, but haven't the letting company shot themselves in the foot (or should that be sued themselves in the foot) because if their real reason for taking action was to contain the story that one of their properties was allegedly moldy then they have failed miserably, right?

Of course as ever the most un-stupid party in the whole arrangement is the cut and paste guy, as his fee will probably be paid whatever happens.

As I said, the scary thing is that the lawyers are catching on to fast, we need to pick up the pace.

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Stupid Politics & Clever Politicians

Now we all know that Politics is stupid, but of course that Politicians are clever, well they invented all these different ways to spend our money, especially on expenses for Moat Drainage and the like here in the UK, but that's another story....Anyway I found this nice explanation of all the different types of Politics we have in the world using cows as the analogy which tickled me quite nicely. It comes for here and as it says the source is unknown but has been added to by Steve Jackson

  • FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
  • PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
  • BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.
  • FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.
  • PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
  • RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
  • CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.
  • DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
  • PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
  • REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
  • BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
  • PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
  • LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
  • SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)

Stupid Garmin

Here's a really stupid thing that happened to me a short while ago.

Having bought a new Zumo 660 at the start of the summer, I wanted to add a new set of maps for my trip to New Orleans for the Microsoft WPC. No problem said the Garmin website, you have 3 choices, Download, Micro SD Card or DVD, all showing at $99.99 (how much???) yes $99.99 0r £47.77 here is the UK.

Oh well, lets go ahead and download a copy as its quick and easy and I've got a nice big fat broadband download speed - its about a 1.1gb files size.

Having installed the maps onto the Zumo, I suddenly find that I cannot use the PC based Mapsource files. Call Garmin support only to find that

"Oh, the Mapsource files only come with the DVD, didn't you look on the website, sir"

Well yes I did of course, that's where I downloaded them from,

"well if you looked properly, in the Features tab it says clearly its only the DVD version that includes the PC files"

but I did look on the website, and chose the download option which is the same price as each of the other 2 options!

"Well basically its your fault not for looking all the way through each section, if I was buying something from the web I would check it out thoroughly"

Why did you not make it clear on the Options drop down list?

"Well look sir, we think its perfectly clear on the website and there is nothing we can do"

Well what are my options then?

"You need to buy the DVD if you want to communicate with the PC"

Oh great and that's another $99.99 I suppose?

"Yes sir that's what it says on the site"

Well this is a truncated version of the call which I escalated all the way as far as I could go. Those of you who use Garmin products will get the real gist of what I am saying as the maps of the unit are only half the product as you need the maps in Mapsource so you can plan routes and upload tracks etc.

What is really stupid is the way they mislead customers by not making the website clear enough and then adding insult to injury they tell you its your fault. Of course Garmin must also be aware that in today's web-savvy world, there are forums and blogs and great ways for us all to share our experiences with the big corporations such as Garmin. Here is the Zumo forum where I posted my comments. In the end I emailed their Head of Operations in the UK, but that was over a week ago now and surprise surprise no hint of a word back, now that's also stupid

Sometimes you come across a deliberate action by a company that is stupid as far as the customer is concerned, but maybe here this is deliberate by Garmin and they are happily doubling up on sales of maps because the customer is the stupid one for trusting them in the first place.

We will look for more examples of this kind of stupidity, send me your real time examples and we will have a laugh exposing them

Stupid Quotes

Now we can see that this kind of verbal stupidity is all around us, maybe it comes because of a weak moment, maybe you are tired and maybe you are busy thinking of something else or even just couldn't be arsed. Whatever it is that causes the moments that can go down in time as hilarious moments, we must get to the bottom of whats going on......

Here's a great sample from The Best Stupid Quotes


  • I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again ... same scenario ! I departed the store with the $46.64.

  • I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one- get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

  • One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the Sky and said, "Where ?"

  • While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."

  • I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

  • My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a Seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

  • My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

  • I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went To the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags Never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a Trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"

  • While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."

Here are some more quotes and sayings from coolnsmart

  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
  • As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
  • Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
  • I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
  • STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
  • I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
  • The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
  • Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
  • I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.
  • The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
  • If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing
  • You can’t just let nature run wild.
  • A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
  • The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

So we say stupid things all the time, I guess if you are unfortunate enough to have them captured against your name then you will probably be a politician, OK that's what we can look at next

Top 10 Stupid British Laws

Here's what we mean this is form Lorla's blog ..##

Top 10 British Stupid Laws - Thou Shalt Not Die

It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)

In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)

In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a
policeman’s helmet (four percent)

The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)

It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)

It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)

In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)

Hey, hang on, I live in Scotland, so how come I have to let every scumbag that passes by come in and use my loo?!! Is this what we get from the current Scottish Parliament or was it from the last one?

Anyway thanks for that Lorla - just what we are looking for in the ongoing study of stupidity